Mustafa Arrived!

Mustafa Ghazwan arrived in San Francisco on the eve of the new year. Met by signs of welcome, balloons and cameras, Ruth group supporters, Iraqi American friends, and the news media. It was such a joyful welcome the news media did not want to leave. they interviewed Cole Miller, founder of No More Victims the organization responsible for bringing Mustafa from Iraq, and Mustafa’s father Ghazwan, members of Ruth group, and filmed Mustafa playing happily with balloons and books, gifts from many. The feeling of something good and heartwarming was not lost on anyone, everyone wanted to stick around and soak it up. Everyone wanted to participate in welcoming Mustafa.

Since that day Mustafa’s life has been full of new people and experiences complete with an afternoon at the beach (a first for both), an afternoon at a local dairy in Marin where Mustafa drove a tractor…not shy about this, and many wonderful dinners and parties that new Iraqi friends have given, making father and son feel at home in our community. New friendships are evolving between Iraqis in our community and those of us in Ruth group as well as the doctors of the Iraq Action Group at UCSF. It seems like a never ending cycle of friendships and spontaneous meetings that have seemed magical at times. Mustafa is full of excitement and happy energy. He communicates with gestures and endearing smiles, glee, and a profound sense of knowing what he wants. Adorable does not begin to describe his way with others, and his ability to win everyone’s heart

Ronald McDonald house
Mustafa and Ghazwan are living at Ronald McDonald house, a home in San Francisco that allows families of young children to stay while undergoing medical care. It is a warm, homey place with kitchen facilities, plenty of good company, a room full of toys and a small back yard Mustafa can run around in. The managers and staff are like family now, and make all their needs a priority. Ghazwan has use of a computer and can email regularly to his family in Iraq. The big park and playground on Jackson street is just 4 walking blocks away. Food just seems to flow into their refrigerator. Ruth group coordinators have been taking them shopping at the local Safeway…Ghazwan just shakes his head at the prices! “Wow!” he said to me. They are happy though, and have taken a big liking to peanut butter and strawberry jam on toast.

Mustafa’s Cochlear Implant Operation
The seriousness of Mustafa’s journey does permeate as we get nearer his cochlear implant operation on Friday, January 16. He has had doctors appointments, a MRI and CT scan, hearing tests, cochlear psychologist exam, and he does this all with little fuss. Waiting for Mustafa to wake from anesthesia after his MRI was emotional for his father, and brought home the enormity of their experience away from home, and dependence on so many of us. Mustafa has passed all tests, and Dr. Larry Lustig the surgeon says it is a go for Friday. Iraqi friends will be there to translate for Ghazwan, and Ruth group members Amy Skewes-cox and Ruth friend will drive them to the hospital and be on hand for whatever comes up. Everything points to a good outcome for Mustafa.

Citizen Diplomacy in Action and Creating Peace
It has been my personal hope that creating a project like this would activate ‘citizen diplomacy’ within our community, and that we would grow friendships and partner with new colleagues because of this one child. This is the most effective way I know to create the basis for peace. Once you meet and befriend a person of a different culture, ethnicity, church, temple or mosque, you will never see that group as enemy again.

Two stories stand out in my mind about Mustafa and how this has created a new village of friends.

Maythem and Isra Saeed are Iraqi Americans who live in Novato. They both work at UCSF medical center and found us through our request for translators. They have hosted Ruth group members, and Mustafa and his father at their home. We invited Dr. Dan Lowenstein to join us for dinner. He is the doctor and founder of the Iraq Action Group at UCSF. These are doctors and students who formed in 2003 to address the medical issues created by the Iraq war. Dan has been instrumental in putting Mustafa’s medical care together at the hospital. At this dinner we asked him if he would give Ghazwan, Mustafa’s father, a little more information about the operation.

Dan is actually a neurologist, and not an expert on the cochlear implant itself and he began by letting us know this. However, as he so adeptly pointed out, we may all need some background on how the ear works, and how hearing occurs. In this way we would understand what had gone wrong in Mustafa’s hearing when the US missile exploded outside their home, and why the cochlear implant was going to work for him. We sat around the dinner table, pushing our plates aside and Dan gave us a lesson. He was concise, made it intriguing, and funny too. By the end everyone had gathered around to listen. I looked around the table and realized sitting there were Iraqis, Jordanians, Lebanese, Palestinians, Americans all gathered for one purpose… It was truly a new village. Dan is a great teacher to be able to just sit side by side and and tell the story of hearing. It was beneficial to our understanding of the medical issue, but more importantly it was the binding of us together that mattered, and our dedication to Mustafa. Dan said to me afterwards, “if we could do this all the time with those who are suffering we wouldn’t have enemies…its why i do this.”

Westminster Presbyterian Church
A second story of how a village is growing here in Marin is the story of Westminster Presbyterian church in Tiburon. Barbara Rowe, one of the pastors, contacted Amy Skewes-Cox of Ruth group to see how they might participate. Barbara had seen the story in the Marin IJ about Ruth group and No More Victims bringing in Mustafa for medical care. She had been to a few Ruth group speakers meetings in the past and wanted to get involved. Amy and Dan Lowenstein went to the church and gave a talk to their congregation about our involvement, No More Victims, and Mustafa. The congregation was so taken with the story, they made it a major project for the church in 2008 and raised over $6,000 for a “Mustafa fund”. They designated it to his speech and hearing therapy.

One year later, on Sunday, January 11 the church had a special welcoming program, and pancake breakfast to introduce Mustafa and his father. They have been patiently awaiting Mustafa’s arrival for a year, so it was a huge turn out. The children created a special treat. With Mustafa in his father’s arms at the pulpit alongside the pastors, and Ruth group members Amy Skewes-Cox and myself, the children paraded in saying together ‘ shalom alaikum’ shalom alaikum’ carrying little Iraqi and American flags. They presented Mustafa with gifts, and a new cell phone for Ghazwan. This is a pretty big deal for a Presbyterian congregation to do. Our village grew leaps with this act of compassion and bridge making.

The enormity of this Christian gesture was not lost on Ghazwan who is a Muslim. His talk was humbling and thankful. Amy and I, and many others, were crying. It was really something.

Tomorrow Bea Benjiman a Ruth grouper will take them to the zoo. This will be a last outing before the operation on Friday. Thursday will be filled with pre-operation appointments and a full day for Mustafa. I think our village is going to continue to grow, as they will be in San Francisco for 4-6 months while Mustafa learns to hear and speak. We hope to have them come for a Ruth group program after the operation so more of our community can meet them and all our new extended family.

Keep Mustafa in you best thoughts.

Ruth Friend